Peace in Our Time

 

The world is full of violence. It is the natural response to anger and injustice. Your friend cheats in Scrabble; the treadmill breaks after one month; the persisting lack of totalitarian world autocracy by the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (Nazi political party) and the German Aryan race. . . But no, we’ve achieved “Peace in our time” as Chamberlain put it.

 

For a short time, when I was young, I worked in the French Peace Corps. Now this way during the Second Great War of course. I stood on the famous Maginot Line, Sector 19.58 each day, wielding my shotgun. One cold and clear morning, in the distance, I spotted the waving of a flag, tearing through the fog--the black, red, and yellow stripes of the Peace Flag. Behind it appeared a line of millions of Peace Troopers from the German Panzer Peace Corp. Moments later, Maginot alarms from all throughout the valley rang out crisply with the ice cream truck song, and a thousand Frenchmen men cocked their shotguns. I myself did the same.

 

As the German Peace Corp. marched closer, heavy-duty all-terrain peace vehicles broke through the front of their lines and began firing. I watched in terror as the ammunition smashed into the wall of the Maginot and unfolded into terrific black, red, and yellow T-shirts each with a white printed image of 2 fingers pointing up. The Peace Troopers began dividing into groups, and as the base of the ice cream truck song dropped, we Frenchmen fired our shotguns. The doves flew out of our barrels as we each recoiled backwards, and egged the German Troopers. As the peace vehicles got nearer yet, the Anti-Anti-Love Artillery was activated; the Maginot Line shook as roses were accelerated out in rapid succession, burying German peace vehicles with love.

 

I retreated to the bunkers to refill with doves. One of my comrades was doing the same, and gave me a piggyback ride down the stairs. As I returned to my firing station afterwards, I felt an innate happiness that I just could not shake. A pink dust had settled over the wall, and a new roar from the engines of German Peace Corp. planes deafened us from above. I heard the opening of a hatch, and yet more pink air descended and spoiled us with joy. Promptly regaining control of myself, I aimed my shotgun back towards the advancing line of German Peace Troopers, who funneled through disabled vehicles and shrubbery.

 

The German Peace Corp. were close now. I knew the end was near. I could feel that my young comrades knew it too. My fingers shook as they pulled trigger after trigger. My heart danced in my chest. My spine tingled. Finally, the retreat signal was fired--the fuses were lit, and fireworks exploded into love messages in the sky. “Be Mine”. “Hugs and kisses”. And upon the signal we abandoned the Maginot and formed a defensive line behind the hills five hundred meters back. Moments later, as the peace vehicles and German Peace Troopers plowed through the Maginot walls, we returned fire with our doves. My head spun--birds and planes soared above our heads, German troopers dashing blindly with eggwhite in their eyes, vehicles barging through the forestation, and suddenly peace vehicle hatches started opening. Their operators jumped out. German Troopers dropped their weapons and sprinted toward us. I dropped my shotgun. I locked eyes with one man as he ran and dove onto me and we squeezed each other with violent, passionate hugs. He kissed me and I kissed him back. And so did my comrades and his comrades.